I am the Queen of Procrastination

Honestly I am, I have six drafts all in various states of completion, most are obsolete, and pretty much all of them are terrible.

It is currently 8:40pm on Tuesday 8th September, now I’m not going to change this date and we’ll see what the post date is when this eventually goes live. I’ve trawled Facebook (which I hate so you know the procrastination is bad when I resort to this), I’ve reached self-imposed time limits on all my apps, and I’ve got to the point where I’m finding no joy in Netflix, Amazon Prime or Disney. I’ve exhausted my options so I’m trying to write, and all I can think about is why am I finding it so hard to write about food.

I always told myself that my procrastination was because I worked in food, it was my whole life so I didn’t really want to write about it when I got home. But now I have a job in tech, and no, not food tech, I’m talking software, so really nothing related to food… and yet? No writing.

Let’s take a step back for a moment (from what you ask? Well those last three paragraphs which are the most I’ve written in MONTHS) and take a wider view of my particular breed of procrastination and what it has to do with failure.

Oh joy I hear you say, I thought this was meant to be a food blog and now she’s talking about failure? Well my procrastination has to do with failure. I am scared of failing, of not being good at something straight away. I’ve been coming to this realisation for a while, but it’s become a lot more apparent recently since I’ve started a new career. I was so frustrated in the first few weeks at work because I didn’t know or understand everything yet. No one at the company expected me to be able to know everything, that pressure came from me.

So I think what I’m trying to say is that I’m not writing or I’m not doing my videos because I’m worried about not being perfect straight off the bat. Which is ridiculous because I’ve never done anything perfectly in my life and also when I have actually failed at something I’ve wanted to do it makes me work that much more to succeed.

Creating a growing space and growing my own vegetables has been the one thing I’ve started this year that I’ve actually continued. And it isn’t perfect, but that doesn’t matter because I’ve eaten food that I have grown myself which is an incredible feeling. And I think this is a lesson I can learn from.

Plus, no one is actually going to read this… apart from my dad, hi dad!

But, for anyone else who is reading this, this is what I plan on doing for the rest of this year…all 4 months left of it.

1. Video tutorials, it WILL happen
2. I will write more recipes, because why not? Not everything needs a story or a technique behind it, sometimes you just want good food.
3. I will do some videos on my garden. Mostly the massive failures I have, because it’s something you don’t see enough of.
4. I will tweet more, not sure why but seems to be a place to discuss things.
5. I will work out how to twitter…it seems very confusing to me, which is a little strange seeing as I handled social media for my last company.
6. These instagram reel things
7. I will not Tik Tok, my brother says they steal your information
8. I will start my virtual cookery classes on Larks Live
9. I will actually get my classes on Larks Live (another thing I’m procrastinating about because I’m worried no one will book on or want to be taught by me.)
10. I don’t have a number 10, but it looks prettier with 10

So there we go, my plans for the rest of the year, let’s see if they come to fruition. Also, I don’t have a picture for this so please enjoy this view across the top of Brent Knoll from the past weekend…

Edit: Posted 9:20pm Wednesday 23rd September…so two weeks…not bad.